Friend or Foe? Agreeableness and Interpersonal Relationships

Agreeableness is a widely accepted personality dimension long associated with altruistic and kind behavior.

Many may see agreeableness as a ‘positive’ trait, but does it benefit relationships?

Below, we explore the link between agreeableness and interpersonal relationships.

Agreeableness and Interpersonal Relationships

Research investigating the connection between agreeableness and interpersonal relationships demonstrates that agreeable people experience less rejection, are more forgiving, and incite fewer conflicts than do low-agreeable individuals.

They also report greater satisfaction in romantic relationships.

Interpersonal relationships are typically defined as the social bonds between two or a group of people. This term encompasses a broad range of relationships, including relationships with romantic partners, family, friends, and co-workers.

You may already have some ideas on how agreeableness influences relationships, but let’s look at the science. Below, we focus on four key areas of interpersonal relationships:

• Forgiveness
• Conflict
• Social Rejection
• Relationship Satisfaction

Forgiveness

The evidence suggests that agreeable people are more likely to forgive others than their less agreeable counterparts.

A 2012 study looked into the influence of various factors, including relationship, offense-specific, and social-cognitive factors, on forgiveness, alongside personality.

They found that agreeableness was the most strongly correlated with forgiveness.

This has finding has also been replicated in a more recent study, where it was discovered that neuroticism and agreeableness were the strongest predictors of forgiveness of the Big Five traits.

Why is this? What is it about those scoring high on agreeableness that makes them more forgiving? It’s been suggested that agreeable people tend to view the world with more gratitude, which one could link to increased levels of forgiveness.

It’s theorized that it’s agreeable peoples’ positive outlooks on events and relationships that determines their disposition toward forgiveness. For example, an agreeable person may see the positives in an individual and choose to overlook the negatives.

Conflict

Agreeable people are also less likely to engage in conflict than are low-agreeable people.

Researchers have found that disagreeable individuals are more inclined to use conflictual resolution tactics such as physical actions, threats, and undermining behaviors.

This finding has also been observed across college students, with researchers finding that low-agreeable adolescents rated power assertion tactics as more useful than did participants who were high in agreeableness.

Similarly, in a study with 157-second grader participants, it was found that agreeable children were less likely to use power assertions and verbally aggressive behaviors to resolve conflict than were low-agreeable children.

Childhood Social Rejection

Agreeable children are typically more compassionate and empathic than low-agreeable children. In general agreeable individuals tend to be less aggressive towards their peers.

Studies looking at peer rejection from Kindergarten to Grade 2, found that children who are aggressive towards their peers are also more likely to experience social rejection.

Furthermore, conduct problems (in the form of aggression and antisocial behaviors) are assumed to be related to social rejection in youths.

These findings highlight the effect of agreeableness on social rejection—children who are more sensitive to the needs of others and who are less aggressive are more likely to be accepted by their peers in school settings.

Relationship Satisfaction

Agreeable individuals generally experience more satisfaction in romantic relationships than disagreeable adults.

There is also evidence for a positive correlation between agreeableness and expressions of affection, unconditional support, and non-judgemental understanding.

What’s more, evidence highlights the detrimental impact of low agreeableness on marital satisfaction. 

Of 132 distressed and 48 non-distressed married couples, those scoring low on agreeableness reported significantly less marital satisfaction than did high-agreeable participants.

Explaining These Relationships

Researchers have different explanations for the relationships between agreeableness and forgiveness, conflict, social rejection, and relationship satisfaction.

Emotion Regulation

One idea is that agreeable people have better relationships because they are skilled at controlling their negative affect.

Strong emotion regulation skills may be linked to interpersonal competence, which encompasses the ability to initiate and maintain relationships, overcome adverse experiences, provide and receive support, and gain satisfaction from relationships.

This suggests that agreeable individuals are better able to make and retain relationships because they show better emotional control.

Attachment Style

Attachment style may also influence an agreeable individual’s interpersonal relationships.

Agreeableness has been found to be particularly related to high levels of secure attachment and low levels of fearful attachment.

Secure attachment is commonly associated with the ability to develop safe and stable relationships.

Therefore, it may be a secure attachment style rather than emotional regulation that determines how an agreeable individual interacts with others.

The Bottom Line

Agreeable people’s generous and selfless tendencies appear to lend themselves to positive interpersonal relationships in childhood and adulthood.

However, keep in mind that while emotion regulation or attachment style may play a role in connecting agreeableness and interpersonal relationships, more evidence is required to support these ideas.