Agreeableness and Neuroticism: What’s the Relationship?

Humans are fascinated by the idea of personality. Agreeableness and neuroticism are two well-known personality traits, but the relationship between them is not so well understood.

Below, we look into the behavior characteristics of each personality trait and begin to answer the question: Are agreeableness and neuroticism two sides of the same coin or inherently different?

Evidence suggests that agreeableness and neuroticism share an inverse relationship. People who score high on agreeableness typically score low on neuroticism and vice versa.

Agreeableness and Neuroticism: What Are They?

Agreeableness and neuroticism are two of the core personality traits proposed by Donald Fiske in his Big Five Personality Model, alongside openness, extraversion, and conscientiousness.

Like all personality traits in this model, researchers associate agreeableness and neuroticism with particular behavior characteristics.

Agreeableness sub-traits:	Neuroticism sub-traits:
Trust	Anxiety
Morality	Anger-hostility
Sympathy	Depression
Modesty	Self-consciousness
Cooperation	Impulsiveness
Altruism	Vulnerable
Agreeableness trait description:	Neuroticism trait description:
People scoring high on agreeableness usually appear friendly and are often likable individuals. They generally steer clear of conflict and would rather work together to build a team up than compete against their peers or tear them down.	In contrast to agreeableness, neuroticism is generally associated with high levels of negative emotions and difficulty regulating and controlling these emotions. Neurotic individuals may struggle to calm themselves and might come across as having quite a negative temperament.

From looking at the individual components of these two personality traits, they appear to have little in common. But is this reflected in the research?

Agreeableness and Neuroticism: Two Sides of the Same Coin?

In short, the answer appears to be a resounding “No!”. In fact, they may be opposites, in some aspects at least. Let’s take a look at the research into their relationship.

In two of three of their studies, Ode and Robinson found a significant inverse relationship between agreeableness and neuroticism. This means that people scoring high for agreeableness tended to score low on neuroticism and vice versa.

Emotional Stability

The difference between agreeableness and neuroticism also becomes apparent when you look at emotional stability.

For example, agreeable people typically show high levels of emotional stability. In contrast, neurotic individuals tend to have poor self-regulation, making it harder to deal with conflict and manage stress.

In fact, emotional instability is commonly associated with neuroticism, and Leary and Hoyle even discussed it as a potential facet of the personality trait in their book, Handbook of Individual Differences in Social Behavior.

Psychotic Experience Research

Research looking into psychotic experience further highlights the difference between these two traits. A recent study found that, while neuroticism had a significant positive relationship with psychotic experiences, agreeableness had an inverse relationship.

Marital Satisfaction

Likewise, studies looking into marital satisfaction found that marital satisfaction is associated with high levels of agreeableness. Meanwhile, neuroticism was a predictor of marital dissatisfaction.

Age

Even as we age, there doesn’t appear to be an equivalence between these two traits. A study from 2005 found that neuroticism levels decrease up to age 80, while agreeableness increases.

While this may close the gap on this inverse relationship, more research is needed to understand this association fully.

How to Become Less Agreeable

Being agreeable has its benefits, and not just in marital satisfaction. Evidence suggests that agreeable people get on well with others at work and in social environments and are generally happy with their lives.

However, there are some caveats to an agreeable personality. While agreeable people may tend to perform well in teams, their personal successes can sometimes suffer as a result, which can even result in them receiving lower pay than disagreeable adults.

If you think you might be a bit too agreeable, here are some things you can do to change it.

Set Clear Boundaries

Agreeable individuals may allow others to push their boundaries in the act of being selfless. For example, you may agree to help a friend move house on your day off when, really, you need to relax. In this situation, setting clear boundaries would be to recognize that you need to look after yourself and tell your friend, “No.”

Practice Self-Awareness

Agreeable people may focus on the needs of others to the detriment of themselves. In doing so, they might lose sight of what they want and need. Practicing self-awareness can help high-agreeable individuals understand themselves better.

Be OK With Disagreements

Agreeable people like to be liked, but not everyone can get along with everyone all the time. High-agreeable individuals may miss out on personal successes and opportunities by attempting to gain admiration from their peers.

Advice for People Scoring High on Neuroticism

Neuroticism poses multiple difficulties, too. Neurotic individuals are particularly susceptible to various psychological conditions, including anxiety and eating disorders.

A neurotic person’s poor emotional stability may make relationships difficult, as they typically get into more conflict and become stressed quickly and easily.

So, what can you do if you score high on neuroticism?

How to Manage Neuroticism

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help with emotional regulation and management. Being grounded and mindful has been shown to reduce stress and lower a person’s blood pressure.

Find Stress Relief Techniques That Work For You

Everyone needs to engage in stress-relieving activities, but this is especially important for neurotic individuals. Slow, mindful exercises such as yoga can help a person high on neuroticism to destress.

Write In a Journal

Writing in a journal, particularly a gratitude journal, can help you keep track of the good things in your life. On days when everything seems to be going wrong, taking 5 minutes to write in a gratitude journal can help switch you into a more positive mindset.

Final Note

Most people view agreeableness as a positive trait. You could say the opposite for neuroticism. Research generally indicates that the two personality traits are as different as they seem at first glance.

However, scoring high on agreeableness comes with its problems, too. Luckily, you can take steps to reduce the detrimental effects of these personality traits on your life.